Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Inflected Form(s): plural selves \ˈselvz, Southern also ˈsevz\
1 a: the entire person of an individual b: the realization or embodiment of an abstraction
2 a (1): an individual's typical character or behavior
3: the union of elements (as body, emotions, thoughts, and sensations) that constitute the individuality and identity of a person
4: personal interest or advantage
Hobbies rusted, talents lost.
Cobweb covered life's ambitions
Sacrificed to meet the cost.
You don't see it when its leaving,
You can't feel it when its gone.
You just fill it's empty space
As you rush to carry on.
Until the day when you reflect
On who you used to be.
And you barely recognize
The stranger that you see.
I still remember 'Me'. I was young and wistful... so full of dreams. I thought I married into my dreams. Instead, without realizing, I left my dreams behind as I pursued life one day at a time. Life became so full that I barely had enough time to react let alone plan and achieve. There was no time for reflection. It was sink or swim. I'm a lousy swimmer but I can stay afloat. And so I drifted to where ever the tide took me, until I washed ashore where I am, as I am... far away from whom and what I was.
I don't know that I would want to go back even if I could. I stand to lose more now than I did then. What I would like, though, is to dust off a little of what remains, my artwork, my poetry, my music. I would love to visit the solitude I enjoyed so much back then, where I sorted through the turmoil and made sense of my life.
It was there that I left my self to become a name on an envelope and a number on a census. I am sure it is just an imprint in the dust by now, this self of mine, a fossil of the past, a relic. But if I look hard enough I am sure I will see the mist over the ocean, smell the salt in the air, feel the warm Kona wind against my skin.
If I think back hard enough I can remember, I can be... my self again, even if just for a moment in my mind.