Sincerity Prayer

Dear Lord,

Give me the strength to resist the urge to kill him because I do not want to go to prison and 'inmate orange' really doesn't look good on me.

Sincerely yours,

Amen~

Crushed~

Every day I pray
A silent prayer, a plea for strength
Every night I sigh
Forlorn, alone and crushed.
There is a way around this
But I can't pay the toll.
So every day...
I pray for strength
And every night I sigh
Forlorn, alone and crushed.

Dear God...

Grant me the serenity
To accept things that I cannot change
And the strength
Not to kick every dang blasted idiot
That I have to deal with
Right in the seat warmer!
Thank you Lord.
Amen.

touch...

A touch

So simple yet reassuring.

Gentle yet so strong.

Once taken for granted

Then yearned for when it's gone.

A smile

Instant and spontaneous

Ever present on the lips.

Now appears with greater effort

Before it quickly slips.

A sigh

In reflection of the past,

And regret for future lost.

The demise of a great love

That began with just a touch.

jln 10/08

SELF EXTINCTION

Main Entry: self
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural selves \ˈselvz, Southern also ˈsevz\
1 a: the entire person of an individual b: the realization or embodiment of an abstraction
2 a (1): an individual's typical character or behavior (2): an individual's temporary behavior or character b: a person in prime condition
3: the union of elements (as body, emotions, thoughts, and sensations) that constitute the individuality and identity of a person
4: personal interest or advantage

was....

Teenage dreams deserted
Hobbies rusted, talents lost.
Cobweb covered life's ambitions
Sacrificed to meet the cost.

You don't see it when its leaving,
You can't feel it when its gone.
You just fill it's empty space
As you rush to carry on.

Until the day when you reflect
On who you used to be.
And you barely recognize
The stranger that you see.

jln 10/2008

I still remember 'Me'. I was young and wistful... so full of dreams. I thought I married into my dreams. Instead, without realizing, I left my dreams behind as I pursued life one day at a time. Life became so full that I barely had enough time to react let alone plan and achieve. There was no time for reflection. It was sink or swim. I'm a lousy swimmer but I can stay afloat. And so I drifted to where ever the tide took me, until I washed ashore where I am, as I am... far away from whom and what I was.

I don't know that I would want to go back even if I could. I stand to lose more now than I did then. What I would like, though, is to dust off a little of what remains, my artwork, my poetry, my music. I would love to visit the solitude I enjoyed so much back then, where I sorted through the turmoil and made sense of my life.

It was there that I left my self to become a name on an envelope and a number on a census. I am sure it is just an imprint in the dust by now, this self of mine, a fossil of the past, a relic. But if I look hard enough I am sure I will see the mist over the ocean, smell the salt in the air, feel the warm Kona wind against my skin.

If I think back hard enough I can remember, I can be... my self again, even if just for a moment in my mind.